Not Just Physical: Why Mental Health Is Men’s Health Too

When most people think about men’s health, they picture cholesterol checks, gym routines, prostate exams, maybe a bit of banter about back pain. But men’s mental health? That’s still the elephant in the room.

Men are still more likely to die by suicide, less likely to access psychological therapies, and more likely to bottle it up until their mental health becomes a crisis. As a therapist, I’ve sat across from men who carry enormous emotional loads without ever naming them, whose struggles are dismissed as “stress” or “just tired,” and whose pain is buried under layers of performance, pride, and pressure.

This blog is for them, and for the people who love them. Because mental health is men’s health too. And it’s time we made space for that truth.

The Quiet Crisis: Men and Mental Health

Let’s start with some facts.

• In the UK, three-quarters of suicide deaths are men.
• Men are less likely than women to seek psychological help.
• Many men only access therapy during times of crisis, such as relationship breakdown, redundancy, or severe burnout.

But statistics don’t tell the full story. The real crisis lies in how male distress is often misread, misdiagnosed, or simply missed altogether. Not because it isn’t there, but because it often looks different.

How Men Experience Mental Health Struggles

We often associate depression or anxiety with sadness, tears, or visible distress. But for many men, these feelings show up differently.

Some signs that are frequently overlooked or misunderstood include:

• Irritability or anger – mood changes that come out as snapping, frustration, or short tempers
• Withdrawal or avoidance – pulling back from relationships, social events, or responsibilities
• Overworking or perfectionism – numbing by staying constantly busy or chasing achievement
• Substance use – increased reliance on alcohol, smoking, or other substances to cope
• Physical symptoms – chronic fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues
• Shut down or numbness – a feeling of “just going through the motions”

None of these necessarily scream “mental health issue,” but they often are. And too often, they’re dismissed or internalised as character flaws—”He’s just moody,” “He’s distant,” “He’s lazy”—rather than as signs of someone quietly struggling.

Why It’s Harder for Men to Speak Up

The barriers to support aren’t just individual. They’re systemic, cultural, and generational.

1. Gender Roles and Expectations

From a young age, boys are told, often subtly, sometimes overtly, to “man up,” “be strong,” and “don’t cry.” Vulnerability is painted as weakness. Emotional expression is seen as something other people do… usually women. The message becomes clear: discomfort should be endured in silence.

This conditioning doesn’t magically disappear in adulthood. In fact, it tends to harden. By the time many men are deep in their 30s, 40s, or beyond, they’ve had decades of practice ignoring their inner world.

2. The “Fix-It” Mentality

Culturally, men are encouraged to be problem-solvers, not feelers. If something is broken, you fix it. But when the “problem” is emotional distress, there isn’t always a simple solution. Therapy can feel too abstract, too vulnerable, too unfamiliar. Many men I’ve worked with describe the idea of talking about feelings as foreign, until they realise it’s not about talking to talk, but about understanding how what’s happening inside affects every part of their lives.

3. Stigma (External and Internal)

Even with growing awareness, stigma still sticks. It lives in the unspoken assumptions, the jokes, the subtle put-downs that reinforce silence. But it also lives internally, in the shame some men carry for needing help at all. That voice that says, “I should be able to handle this.” Therapy becomes a last resort rather than a healthy first step.

How Men’s Mental Health Impacts Physical Health

Mental health isn’t separate from the rest of your wellbeing. When you’re emotionally overloaded, it takes a toll on your body.

Unprocessed stress and suppressed emotions can contribute to:

• High blood pressure and heart disease
• Weakened immune system
• Digestive issues (IBS, acid reflux)
• Chronic pain and muscle tension
• Sleep disruption
• Low libido or sexual dysfunction

Stress also leads many men to rely on unhealthy coping strategies: binge drinking, isolation, risky behaviours. These don’t make the stress go away—they simply numb it temporarily, while the underlying issues grow louder beneath the surface.

So What Does Healthy Coping Look Like for Men?

Contrary to popular belief, mental health support isn’t all group hugs and journaling (though both have their place!). It’s about building tools that work for you, in a way that feels natural, practical, and sustainable. Here are a few approaches men often find helpful once they’re reframed to feel more accessible and less stigmatised:

1.  Therapy or Talking Support

Whether it’s one-to-one therapy, coaching, or a peer support group, having a safe space to unpack your experiences can be life-changing. Therapy isn’t about being “broken” or needing to be “fixed”. It’s about building insight, regulation, and resilience.

Some men prefer structured approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) that focus on tools and strategies. Others find EMDR, trauma-informed work, or integrative therapy helpful. The key is finding a therapist who gets you and can support you in a way that feels collaborative.

2. Healthy Routines and Anchors

Mental health doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Basic self-care, like getting enough sleep, moving your body regularly, eating well, and cutting down on alcohol or screen time, can make a significant difference. Not because they “solve” mental health struggles, but because they help regulate your nervous system and build a foundation of stability.

Even small changes like swapping one beer for a walk, or turning your phone off an hour earlier can help.

3. Connection (Yes, Even If You Hate Talking About Feelings)

Social connection is a protective factor against stress, depression, and burnout. But for many men, friendships are activity-based rather than emotionally deep. That’s okay, but it doesn’t mean there’s no space for honesty.

Start with simple check-ins with a mate:
“Work’s been a lot lately—how’s it going for you?”
Or even:
“I’ve been feeling off and not sure why—ever get that?”

You’d be surprised how many people are just waiting for someone to open the door.

4. Creative and Physical Outlets

For men who struggle to express emotions verbally, physical or creative activities can be powerful. Whether it’s boxing, woodworking, journaling, music, or cold-water swimming, these activities offer release, insight, and grounding.

Mental health isn’t always about talking, it’s also about expression, release, and reconnection.

5. Mindfulness and Nervous System Regulation

This doesn’t mean you need to start meditating for an hour a day. It can be as simple as:

• Noticing where you hold tension in your body
• Doing deep breathing during your commute
• Going for a walk without your phone
• Trying a few stretches before bed

Stress isn’t just in your head. It lives in your body. Practices that help calm your nervous system can make a profound difference in your day-to-day mental wellbeing.

How to Support the Men in Your Life

You don’t need to be a therapist to make a difference. You just need to be present, compassionate, and willing to listen. Here are a few ways to support a partner, brother, dad, friend, or colleague:

1. Ask Twice

When someone says they’re “fine,” it’s okay to gently ask again.
“Really, though? You’ve seemed a bit off. Want to talk about it?”

2. Make It Normal

Share something small about your own challenges. It often helps others feel less alone and more willing to open up. Vulnerability breeds connection.

3. Respect Their Pace

Not everyone is ready to talk straight away. Let them know you’re there, even if they don’t want to go into detail. Support can be as simple as showing up.

4. Point Them to Resources

Men often don’t know where to look for help, or they assume support won’t work for them. Offer options without pressure, such as:

• Local therapists
• Men’s groups like Andy’s Man Club or MenSpeak
• Text or helpline services (e.g. SHOUT, CALM)
• Podcasts or books on men’s wellbeing

True strength isn’t about carrying it all. It’s about knowing when to ask for help, being honest about how you’re feeling, and choosing growth over performance.

Mental health is everyone’s business and for men, that includes acknowledging the pressure cooker many live inside of. The “strong, silent type” narrative is outdated and damaging. It’s time we rewrite the story.

That means showing up for ourselves. Checking in with our mates. Modelling emotional literacy for the next generation. And holding space for men to be whole human beings… with joy, pain, confusion, tenderness, and complexity.

Need Support? Let’s Talk.

If something in this article resonated with you—or if you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just not like yourself—you’re not alone. We offer confidential, compassionate support to help you reconnect with yourself and feel more in control of your mental wellbeing.

Whether you’re navigating stress, burnout, low mood, anxiety, or a tough life transition, we’re here to help.

Reach out to us at info@nnpsychology.co.uk or give us a call on 07341 193858 to learn more about how we can support you.

References:

Suicides in England and Wales: 2022 Registrations, Office for National Statistics

Socio-demographic differences in use of Improving Access to Psychological Therapies services, England: April 2017 to March 2018, Office for National Statistics